Facing Forgiveness: A Catholic's Guide to Letting Go of Anger and Welcoming Reconciliation by Loughlan Sofield;Carroll Juliano;Gregory Aymond

Author:Loughlan Sofield;Carroll Juliano;Gregory Aymond
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-02-28T18:03:00+00:00

Questions for Personal Reflection

1. Have I ever looked into the eves of someone I hate? Have I allowed myself to look beyond those eyes into the soul of the other? If so, how did it change my heart

O Lord our God, you answered them; you were a forgiving God to them, but an avenger of their wrongdoings.

-Psalm 99:8

orgiveness is normally a slow process. Usually when there is an attempt to rush to forgiveness it results in pseudo-forgiveness. There are times, however, when God grants a spontaneous gift of forgiveness. When this occurs, it must be acknowledged as a special gift from God.

While conducting a workshop on forgiveness we asked the participants, a group of deacons and their wives, to identify someone who had witnessed for them what it means to forgive. Everyone turned toward one couple sitting in the corner. Asked why the response was so instant and universal, the husband, Bob, began to slowly and solemnly recount their story. Bob and Judy's twentyfive-year-old daughter, Christine, was kidnapped, raped, and murdered. Earlier in her life she had been in an auto accident resulting in an extremely long rehabilitation process. Just days before she was murdered, (;hristine had called her mother to relate excitedly that she was beginning to regain her short-term memory. 'T'here was great joy in the family. Their joy would he short-Iiyed.

Eventually the police captured the murderer who was one of their neighbors. The man was brought to trial and eventually convicted. Although Bob and Judy's friends all believed that the killer should have received the death penalty, the couple did not agree. Their response to their friends was that to take the killer's life would have been "a desecration of the sacredness of Chris's life." Christine loved life and loved people.

Bob and Judy have forgiven the man who murdered their daughter, and it is their ardent hope that God has also forgiven him.

However, the couple was aware that the murderer was a man who was prone to violence. There were prior episodes of violence. On several occasions his wife was hospitalized as a result of his severe beatings. They became aware of numerous other incidents when he acted violently toward others in the neighborhood. Although Bob and Judy forgave Christine's murderer, they also pleaded with the judge not to release this criminal into society. The couple was convinced that if the murderer were released, his violent nature would probably lead him to rape or murder again.

Bob and Judy had the ability to distinguish between forgiveness and justice. If this distinction is overlooked, it can become an obstacle to forgiveness. Forgiveness does not dissipate the obligation for justice. Pope John Paul II, who forgave Ali Agca, the man who attempted to assassinate him, developed the intricate connection between peace, justice, and forgiveness in his message delivered at the celebration of the World Day of Peace on January 1, 2002. Relating his own personal experience with both Nazi and Communist totalitarianism, he declared that, "Justice and forgiveness are both essential to .

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